After a whole month of being on an unofficial and unintentional blogging hiatus… i’m back!

So how have you guys been? Me? Well, to say that I’ve been busy is an understatement. Work has consumed most of my hours but I am not complaining because… DRUM ROLL PLEASE! My training days are over!!! Can you believe it?! I passed the evaluation and I survived!!! (Can you feel the intensity and excitement with all the exclamation points?!?! :))

Who would have thought that I’d actually be a legit writer  for a big TV network?? I mean, it is something that I wanted to do – yeah – but a year ago I was so sure that I wouldn’t get a job like this. I thought i’d be stuck in a cubicle somewhere in Makati and be an office drone for the rest of my waking life.

Everything is just so surreal. You might think that I’m over reacting but I guess it’s just too big of a deal to not feel ecstatic about. Looking back on last week’s evaluation meeting with the head writers and executive producer, I was all teary-eyed, and I probably looked like an idiot shaking their hands after they told me I got the job.

The script deadlines, writer’s block, the screaming directors, the annoying people, the bubog-nights, stressful but exciting live shows, the trainee bullies, the get-togethers I missed, the out of town trips I wasn’t able to come to, the long hours of commute, and the hundreds of pesos for taxi fares during late night pack-ups, were all worth it because I got the freakin’ job.

I’m not just a writer wannabe who rants and posts random stuff on the blogosphere anymore. I’m actually a writer for a living. How cool is that? I just feel so happy and proud. I feel like all the career choices I’ve made have lead me to this. Now that I’m here, it’s time to start living the dream. 🙂



Holy Week: Then & Now

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Today is Good Friday. I don’t know how people observe the Holy Week in other places but here in the Philippines, and I bet in other Catholic countries, it’s sort of a big deal. We have certain traditions, activities, and even urban legends when it comes to this topic.

The Lenten Season or the Holy Week is all about the Paschal Mystery of Jesus Christ. What is that you ask? (I am about to make my Christian Living teachers and Religion professors very proud with this post *slow clap*) In a nutshell, it’s basically the observance/commemoration of Jesus’ death, resurrection, and ascension. In more simpler terms, it’s about remembering how Jesus gave his life to save all our sinful butts. Or in even simpler terms, it’s a sort of reminder how awesome Jesus is.

It’s a 40 day thing that starts on Ash Wednesday. The “celebration” of this religious event has changed over the years. (Urgh. I feel old writing this but I guess, the world really is changing so fast that everything isn’t as it used to be) Ten years ago, when I was 14 years old, Holy Week meant a whole week of boredom stuck in the house with pretty much nothing to do. We were lead to believe a couple of things to observe/do during the Holy Week.

My Lola’s Top 5 Holy Week Rules and Regulations:

1. You can’t play outside. Because if you get bruised it won’t heal because the Lord is dead. I don’t know how the Lord’s death is connected to any wounds I might get but we followed. It took every tiny bit of patience and control my cousins and I had to fight of the urge to play outside. It is impossible to STOP kids from playing outside. It’s just not in the genetic make up of kids in my time to not play outside.

So one Holy Wednesday, more than 10 years ago, my cousins and I thought, screw these crazy Holy Week superstitions we are gonna go out and play! We played TUMBANG PRESO, a traditional Pinoy game. The goal of the game is to knock off an empty tin can guarded by an IT. Players must use their slippers or flip flops to knock off the can from it’s base. So I was IT, then one of my cousins threw a slipper making the can fly off hitting my knees. It didn’t really hurt but then I saw… red! Apparently, the open side of the tin can hit my knee cutting my skin. Boy was I panicked! I really thought I was going to die then again, after a few days, I realized that it was just something old people tell children to stop them from making noise during the Holy Week.

2. You can’t be noisy. I guess, the best explanation I got for this one was that, we can’t really be all loud and happy during the week because, well, we’re supposed to be reflecting on Jesus’ death. One thing’s clear, my family is very loud so I think my Lola just wanted a week of quiet from her grandchildren. It’s one week off from our noise.

3. You should take a bath before 3PM on Good Friday. Don’t. Ask. Me. Why. Now, it’s something my cousins and I joke about but when we were younger, our Lola and our parents would make us take our baths early in the morning just to make the “3PM cut off”. It wasn’t really explained why we had to do that but we followed.

4. You can’t eat meat. During the Lenten Season people are asked to fast and abstain from things they love as a form of sacrifice. Not eating meat is one of those little sacrifices that we can do. I was of course exempted when I was younger, while they eat ampalaya (bitter gourd) I’d chow down hotdog, pork chop, or longganisa but when I got older I also didn’t eat meat. I remember in 2011, one of my sacrifices for Lent was to give up Social Media. That meant no Facebook for 40 days. It was hard in the beginning because everybody I know was on it and being online was the thing back then. After that, I realized it’s way better to spend more time offline with real friends rather than online with virtual friends.

5. You can’t go out or travel because everybody’s prone to accidents. I used to hate Holy Week. I was stuck inside the house, no TV (we didn’t have cable then), no nothing! I was bored out of my mind. Unlike other families who use the time for vacationing to different parts of the country, we stayed home, went to church, and didn’t eat meat. The only consolation I get was when my cousins would come over and we’d spend the day playing cards or board games (we weren’t allowed to play outside, remember?) trying our hardest to keep our laughs and voices down so we won’t get in trouble with the Holy Week police (our Lola :D).

Of course, a lot has changed now. Our peaceful village streets aren’t as quiet during the Holy Week with our noisy neighbor’s motorcycle repair shop up and running even on Good Friday. There are lots of shows on TV so it’s not as boring as it used to be. Holy Week these days meant a full week away from work (Hell YEAH!) and a weeks worth of DVD marathons and catch up on your favorite TV series. People aren’t stuck at home, they’re at the beach basking under the sun and posting Facebook photos of their tan lines or the view from their hotel over looking the shore. For those who stay in the city, they do the usual activities like the Visita Iglesia with the blow by blow update on their locations posted on their Twitter feeds.

I kinda miss the more peaceful and quiet Holy Week back when I was younger. It was definitely boring then, I must admit, but these days, I don’t know, I just feel like we might be missing the point of the whole season. With all the different activities we do. I’m not here to tell you how to spend the Holy Week but as I am writing this, I am reminded of what this week is about. It’s about reflecting on Jesus’ life and ours too. We could do whatever we want or go wherever we please during this season but I hope we could all spare a little time and just reflect. We can all reflect in the comforts of our home or on an island someplace far from the city. Wherever we are or whatever it is that we do, it’s a good time to put things into perspective. Anyway it’s not about living a holy week but living a holy life.

When Nostalgia Strikes…

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Feb-ulous Challenge Day 26

I love… my box of memories.

Memory Box

Memory Box

I am a sentimental person and I love having keepsakes and small things that will help me remember events and people by. Growing up, we didn’t have digital cameras, cellphones, internet, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Unlike today, we were not able to document every single thing that is happening in our life or even the most mundane thing like our lunch, new hair cut, new toned gym body, or our Starbucks coffee.  If we want to “document” an event, say a graduation, we don’t have people raising their camera phones/digital cameras to capture the moment and see those photos on Instagram or Twitter at an instant. Capturing a moment needed a trusty old school camera and a roll of film with limited shots that ranged from 12, 24, and 36 shots.

Back then, we didn’t have Facebook to express ourselves, connect to people, or even poke our friends. DMs or Direct Messages were literally direct. As in face to face. I remember birthdays meant greeting cards or hand written letters on stationery paper or pages from a notebook and not wall posts or PMs. Messages were not texted or emailed but written on notes which I think are more personal.

Circa: 1996? My first ever Valentine's Card from my Best friend: Mariel

Circa: 1996? My first ever Valentine’s Card from my Best friend: Mariel

Fortunately, being the sentimental person that I am, I was able to keep a lot of stuff to help me reminisce the good old days. I keep mostly, movie/concert tickets, invitations (birthdays, weddings, baptisms), old notebooks/journals full of angst-y teenage stuff, photos, school stuff, and a TON of letters from grade school, especially high school, and a few from college.

Letters not to Juliet but to me.  <3

Letters not to Juliet but to me. ❤

I just realized that my friends loved writing me letters. Aside from the special occasion letters and recollection letters (which were required in our school), I found random heart warming ones and some written on sheets of pad paper or pages from our graphing notebook in high school. Some even starts out with “I’m just writing to say hi and to tell you that I’m lucky to have you as a friend.” When I feel sad, alone, or even forgotten (yeah, I’m emo like that), I take out my box of memories and read my letters. It’s an instant get-happy activity, I must admit.

I'm invited!

I’m invited!


2002: HS Sophomore Year

2002: HS Sophomore Year


My Maroon 5 ticket! and other awesome concerts and movies I went to. :)

My Maroon 5 ticket! and other awesome concerts and movies I went to. 🙂

I love keeping these little things. This box reminds me that I am special and loved. It contains kind words from people who have become a part of my life one way or another. Small objects that captured moments that defined the person that I am today.

When I Grow Up…

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1 Post A Day Challenge – ENTRY #14

I was thinking about what to write about for my 14th entry and I remembered a list of questions I stumbled upon in one of the blogs I was following back in February. One of the questions, which seems relevant to me right now, was: What did you want to be when you were a child? As of this moment, what I want to be is pretty much a hanging question but I am on the quest of finding the answer to that so while I think about that, here are the 3 things that I wanted to be when I was young:

1. Doctor/Pediatrician

My favorite doctor: Dr. Derek “McDreamy” Shepherd

Aaaah. Becoming a doctor. I think every kid went through the someday-i-want-to-be-a-doctor phase. I don’t know but most kids I knew and know have at least once mentioned that they wanted to be a doctor. Me? I wanted to be one because, well, I was sort of sickly back then because of my asthma so with the slightest weather change I always end up at the doctor’s office. I like my pediatrician. She was my mom’s HS classmate so I was never afraid of going to the doctor. Actually, I hate it to admit it but I still go to my pediatrician when I’m sick. Yeah, I know, I need to look for another one. Haha! Oh stop rolling your eyes at me! :))

2. Lawyer

Ally McBeal and her infamous mini skirt. 🙂

I wanted to be a lawyer. It even says so in my elementary yearbook. Even when I was a kid, I was opinionated and I talked a lot. I wasn’t defensive maybe more outspoken and I felt like it’s something that lawyers are good at, being outspoken. Or maybe because my mom watched a lot of Ally McBeal and The Practice back then. I eventually outgrew that one. Good thing though because studying law is looong and thinking about it now, law school might just bore me to death.

3. Newscaster/Weather Girl

If i’m gonna do weather, i’m definitely sticking to weather vanes and barometers!

I have a blurry memory of a skit we did for school back in 5th or 6th grade. I think we had to do a mock newscast and I remember being the weather girl. We had this big map plastered on the blackboard and I had this old TV antenna – the one that retracts with a red thing or sometimes black thing on the end – that I used to poke at the regions or make circular motions around the area where the Low Pressure Area was building. It was fun and easy. Maybe that’s why I wanted to do it plus I get to be seen on TV.

Those are some of the things that I wanted to be. When high school came, I still sort of wanted to be a newscaster but then it evolved. I got into reading books and movies. I still wanted to be in the TV business or media for that matter so I took up Mass Communication in college. Now, I think I want to be a writer. It’s something I thought about in high school. I was into reading Candy Magazines then and I thought, I want to see my name in print someday so that’s the direction that I’m trying to move forward to right now. But who knows, it might not work and maybe, just maybe, I was destined to be a weather girl after all? 🙂

Growing Pains

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1 Post A Day Challenge – ENTRY #3

I saw Mean Girls 4 times at the very least and I think the reason why it was such a hit is because there was some truth (if not all of it) to its story. Unlike in the States, cliques are not as obvious or should I say prominent here in the Philippines but that doesn’t mean that they’re non-existent.

In elementary school, I wasn’t really a star but I had enough shine to be noticed by teachers and to have a group of friends who I played with outside the 4-corners of the classroom. I was popular in a way because I was smart. I think we were all confident during those days because we could care less what we looked like or who we hang out with. Apparently, I will have to know and meet haters in high school so I was pretty much happy in elementary school. Although, I had classmates who were in the making of becoming future Queen Bees, Heartthrobs, Over Achievers, Jocks, Geeks, and even Stoners. We just didn’t know it yet.

My high school experience was not as fun as I’d hoped. Remember how people tell you that high school is the best part of your life. Well they didn’t go to my school. I wanted it to be the best part of my life too but it wasn’t. Even when I was younger, people saw me as intimidating and if you’re in high school, intimidating is not really the best impression you’d want to leave with people. The popular kids and/or bullies would either want you to be one of them or want to be picking on you because you’re a threat. Why they see confidence or being different as a threat is still a mind boggling puzzle to me. News flash: Kids are mean. Believe it or not, they are. I didn’t really experience physical bullying, more of emotional and mental stuff. The whole high school experience made me a people-pleasing push-over. Eventually, I met some friends who still made it a fun and memorable experience. Maybe it’s just that I didn’t have as much fun as I would have if I wasn’t busy trying every single time to fit in. If I knew then what I know now, high school would have been a blast.

Determined to be an awesome person, college was my redemption. I embraced my inner nerd and felt better about myself so college was definitely better. Way better. But I was still in people pleasing mode so I became a “career” (career – noun. in reference to the Hunger Games, I’m such a fan girl. Urgh). I was popular because I was one of the smartest people in class, I wrote for the school organ, my friends were all pretty – I always thought I was in the wrong group, I was a nerd among beauty queens. They taught me a lot of girly stuff and in return I helped them with school stuff. It was a very interesting dynamic, actually – and I was also President of my org during senior year. I was pretty busy and I took everything seriously, maybe a little too much for my own good. I had a lot of things going on. I was stick thin because I was so stressed out. I had to maintain good grades and I was doing a lot of extra curricular activities that I forgot to have fun. I did have some fun but because I was so serious with everything I wasn’t able to live in the moment. It was all about getting good grades, having the best project outputs, and graduation. In high school I was just a face in the crowd so I was determined to stand out and make something out of myself. I’d like to think that by the end of it all, I managed to do just that.

The point of all of this is simple. We all eventually grow up. The world doesn’t really care if you were homecoming queen or you were a jock or a nerd or the smartest kid in school. Before, whenever I look back I always wished I could do it over and there are still some things I wish I could have done differently. Then again, I realized I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for all those things. I was this promising kid, a former high school push over nerd, an over-achieving college student, and now I’m this unemployed twenty-something living off of a savings fund near its depletion aspiring to be a writer (I’m actually happy, can you actually believe that?!). I realized that we are not defined by cliques or labels, or the people we hang out with, or by impressive resumes, or what we do for a living. We all eventually outgrow them. What matters is who we have become.

Late Bloomer

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Late bloomer. Ako yan.

Dati ako ang isa sa mga nangunguna sa klase pag dating sa academics pero sa ibang bagay lagi akong huli. Nung elementary, ako ata ang pinaka-huling nagka-tamagotchi at nagka-gameboy. Laos na sa mga kaklase ko hook na hook pa din ako. Nung high school, mga kaklase ko nagchi-cheek tint na at powder ako dalawang beses lang sa isang araw kung mag suklay (kaya ngayon alam ko na kung bakit hindi ako ligawin dati. hahaha! kahit hanggang ngayon di pa rin naman. hahaha!). Kaya naman, pag dating ko ng college, nagmimistula akong project ng mga classmates ko. Pag bored sila bunutan nila kong kilay, me-make up-an, trip na trip nilang pinturahan mga mukha nila.  Panay ang gala, gimik, at kung saan saan ang mga happenings.

Dati di ko ma-gets. Ngayon, gets ko na. Required na kong mag-makeup at mag ayos dahil sa corporate world lalo na sa Marketing, it’s all about presentation. Sawa na silang gumimik. Ako naman, ngayon ko pa lang na-eenjoy. Ang weird no. Yang Plants Vs. Zombies nga aliw na aliw ako eh lahat ng tao Temple Run at Draw Something na ang bukam-bibig. Ganyan ako ka-late bloomer. Di ko alam kung dapat ba kong matuwa o maasar. Pero most of the time, natatawa na lang ako.

Kahit sa pag-ibig huli ako. Mga iba kong friends nag-sipag asawa na. Yung iba may mga anak na. Ako nga di pa nagkaka-boyfriend. At dahil late bloomer ako, panay ang pressure ng mga tao sa paligid. Andyan yung tuwing makikita mo yung mga kakilala mo yun agad ang unang banat: “ano may asawa ka na??” gusto kong mabuwisit dahil sa 2 bagay. Una, mukha ba kong may asawa o anak? Pangalawa, yan lang ba ang ultimate goal ng mga tao sa mundo? Ang mag-boyfriend o mag-girlfriend saka mag-parami ng lahi? Meron pang pagkakataon na may nagtanong sakin kung galit daw ba ko sa mga lalaki. Pero ang pinaka-paborito ko eh yung tanungin ako kung tomboy daw ako. Natawa ko ng wagas. Wala lang boyfriend, tomboy agad? haha!

Naisip ko lang, kahit malakas mang-pressure ang malupit na mundo sa mga taong hindi umayon sa norms ng society (i.e. being in a relationship at a certain age, dressing in certain way, drinking the newest brand of milk tea, going to parties, or cheering for Linsanity even if you don’t watch NBA, or eating an overrated expensive ice cream) di naman ako dapat malungkot na late bloomer ako. Siguro naman may Pros yan aside from the Cons (like tampulan ng tukso sa opisina at default na aasarin sa mga kapwa single sa paligid). Kakatawa lang isipin. Di naman dapat madaliin di ba? Life is meant to be savored.


Read at your own risk

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I was suppose to write something profound but after failing to log in here and after having to reset my password three freaking times i couldn’t push myself to philosophize and psychologize the things i’m experiencing lately. I have lost the drive to write something positive. Maybe some other time. Some time soon. I promise. 🙂 Anywho, let me just rant for today and please (especially to my 7 subscribers) bear with me. It hasn’t been easy for the past weeks. I am in, how shall i call this, uhm… deep shit. Work is turning out to be a drag. Like yesterday, I sat through a 3-hour meeting that i slept through with eyes open (read: booooooooooring). Nodding at the right times and smiling politely whenever necessary. Often times, i’d be in a staring contest with my laptop. It’s hard not to think about what I’m gonna do with my life because right now i’m clueless. The only comfort I get is knowing that i’m not the only one running like a headless chicken in this zombie-like corporate life.

The thing is i’m stuck. I’m stuck in a boring day job (with a boss you sometimes want to strangle). My mom knows it. My friends are well aware about it. And the worst part is, i know it and i’m too scared to do something about it. That’s how messed up I am in the head. I dread change. Although i know it’s inevitable and even necessary. I’m finding a hard time starting something (see: find a better job or even figuring out what the hell is it i want to do with my life). I get comfortable and i start to compromise. It’s always a toss up between something new but risky and something familiar and safe.

Oh i’m not complaining, I have a good life. I am truly blessed. But, sometimes, I get this. My seasonal emotional thing. And i’d think to myself i want something. Something better. Then i’d think to myself, if I want that, I have got to be brave enough to take the risk or else a few years from now i’d be sitting in front of my laptop and would be bitching about the thing I should have and shouldn’t have done. Nobody wants that. Even you. Especially me.



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