1 Post A Day Challenge – Entry #31

This is not a love story. As much as I would want to write mine, I can’t. I’ve been meaning to write a love story (probably fiction) but I think I need more life experience as material to pull that off. It has been mentioned in previous posts and it’s not really a secret that I’ve never had a boyfriend. Nope. Zero. Nada. I am the poster girl for NBSBs (No Boyfriend Since Birth) or SSBs (Single Since Birth). I have been called an idealist and sometimes I even get scolded for having “high standards”. It’s not that high, really. They’re just plain standards. Some even asked me if I was a lesbian, which for the record and for the sake of any of my parents who might read this someday, I am NOT. I’m as straight as a ruler. Mmkay?

I’d like to blame puberty for my current relationship status. You see, while puberty has been good to other girls by making them taller and rounder/curvy and even giving them boobies in high school. I, on other hand, was given pimples (TONS!), retainers (for the first 3 years), braces (during senior year! cause my teeth relapsed, darn it!), glasses, and bad hair. Yup, I was everything BUT pretty. Okay I wasn’t THAT bad but the competition for boy attention was stiff. I mean, I didn’t really had a problem talking to boys. I actually have a lot of friends who are boys so I guess I’m pretty likable. The thing with being one of the boys in high school is that you’re pretty much in the friend zone whether you liked it or not. You get to be the one they hang out and have a ball with but they end up going to the prom or dating one of your girl friends. In junior year, I sat beside my ultimate crush but the only spark that I saw fly was the one coming from the socket when he plugged in the fan when the AC in our classroom broke down. That was it for me. The dream was over. High school boys (and even girls, i must say) are superficial. We wouldn’t admit it but there is some truth to that.

College seemed to be promising. No more braces. Less pimples. Better hair, fashion, and even perspective. Unfortunately, college boys are still if not more superficial. In high school, I was the friendly one. In college, I was the smart one so I came off as intimidating. I never really got the point why some girls dumb themselves down until then. Come to think of it, I was popular with the boys back then too because I was friends with the pretty girls (hanging out with me meant they get to hang out with my girls too. haha!), I was witty, and I never ran out of random stuff to talk about which came in handy during long breaks. Eventually, some people noticed me. Shocker. Unfortunately, I was a little too convinced that I wasn’t likable… in a romantic way. I know. I’m such an insecure awkward teenage girl. I’ve been told by guys that the problem with me was that I was too cool. Can you believe that. I was never cool and now I was too much. Anyway, I was told that I was the type that they’d hang out with but wouldn’t date so basically I end up in the friend zone. Again. What kind of sick and twisted analogy is that. So by the time they realized that they like me like me, it would be too late because they’re already in my friend zone and that would just be weird for everybody involved.

I think there are varying reasons for my single status. There are the confidence issues from way back when, the case of over thinking things (Urgh. I am the worst over thinker), and the fact that (I hate to admit this) I’m just scared of getting hurt. You know heart aches are not exclusive to people in relationships, I know how it feels. I’ve had my small share of those too. I really do. Maybe my friends are right about me looking at the whole love situation in a different perspective. I think I’ve heard too many sob stories that may have caused me to over analyze things. Maybe I’m reading too much into this. I think, I’m single because of the very simple reason that maybe it isn’t time yet. You know. Love shouldn’t be rushed. Right? I’d like to think that there is somebody out there for everybody. I’ll meet my guy. What’s the rush, right?

PS.

This is the last entry for the month. YAAAAAY! My 1PAD Challenge is a success! Thank you for reading. 🙂

Advertisements