I have always loved music but it’s not often that I find something that I could really relate to. That may just explain the reason why I don’t really like ballads or love songs. I liked pop songs (cause of the catchy melodies) and alternative rock bands (cause i think they have pretty good lyrics that pop songs sometimes lack). My taste in music has been influenced by my big brother and MTV Asia (MYX wasn’t the biggest music channel in the Philippines yet and VJ Donita was one of the coolest VJs who hosted MTV’s Most Wanted). Growing up, I listened to boy bands (because they ruled the air waves), a whole lot of Britney Spears (what?! she is kinda awesome. i like her! shoot me) and because the 90’s was the era of the  OPM bands I listened to a lot of Eraserheads, Rivermaya, and Parokya ni Edgar among others.

Parokya ni Edgar is one of my favorite OPM bands. They have funny, catchy, straight to the heart, and down right story-of-your-life type of tunes. One particular song of theirs actually sums up my love life (or the lack of it) for the past couple of years. Here’s the song:


The first three lines are funny because it has my name written all over it:

Nung una kitang nakilala di man lang kita napuna, 
Di ka naman kasi ganoon kaganda, di ba?
Simpleng kabatak, simpleng kabarkada lamang ang tingin ko sa’yo.

That is so me. I am that girl. The boys liked to hang out with me and they would never ever think of me as a girl they would date. I was a non-threat to girls (that’s why I didn’t have problems with my guy friends’ girlfriends) because I was this regular (sometimes too regular) simple no fuss geeky girl that their boyfriends’ are friends with. They’re so comfortable around me (which is a blessing and a curse) that they sometimes forget that I’m a girl. Then one day, something – i dunno, a realization… maybe – will hit them and they’d start to look at me weird and see me in a different light. It is flattering, i guess? but it’s not something I feel excited about. By the time they realize (that I am in fact a girl) that they like me like me, it’s too late. I was in their friend zone for too long and now they’re in MY friend zone and it would be to weird to even think about hooking up. Right? Or is it okay? Is it just me and my weird principles about friends and being platonic?

I don’t know. A lot of songs have been written (and don’t get me started with movies) about secretly liking your friend and friendship being the best foundation of love. They’re probably true. I might (and would probably) eat my words in the future for saying this but as of this writing, at this point in my life, I have to say that it’s just not my thing. You all might be raising your eyebrows right now and I could be wrong. Very wrong. But. It’s just me. I don’t know. Maybe I haven’t been bitten by the love bug yet. When that time comes, he could be a friend or a complete stranger, who knows. I’ll deal with it when it happens and it’ll all be a topic for a different entry.