Home

I Got My Eyes On You

Leave a comment

Earlier this year, I started reading Shonda Rhimes’ book “Year of Yes”. I haven’t finished it yet because, you know, my job always gets in the way of me doing the things I actually like which includes sitting around, watching TV, and reading a book. But anyway, its got quotes from Grey’s Anatomy and here’s one that really got me:

IMG_5999.JPG

If you have been following this blog, you might have noticed that I have a history of being a push over and a metaphorical punching bag for people. But. I have since tried my hardest to not be that person anymore. Thus, making myself scarce to people who, I think, have used me as a door mat, back up plan, fixer upper, pick me upper, or whatever it is that they needed to make themselves feel better.

Although I have improved in the “loving thy self first” department, I sometimes feel like old habits die hard and I subconsciously fall back into situations with people who tend to abuse and use my kindness.

They think they can just get away with doing crappy things to me. And I admit guilt. Maybe I let them do it to me. Before. Okay, maybe still. Sometimes. Subconsciously. Or maybe I’m just too friendly. Too trusting. Too… whatever.

But the thing is, unlike before that I’m clueless, now I actually know it. I got my eyes on you. Now I actually know what they’re doing but I choose to let it go. Not because I’m a push over. But because I know that “fighting” it is a losing battle. I will not stoop down to that level because I’m better. Not giving a flying f*ck is probably the best way to handle difficult people.

What these mean individuals do or say to me says a lot about them and not me. I almost felt bad for myself there but then I realized that they give me crap about myself but it doesn’t mean that I’m a crappy person. It means that THEY ARE. And that my friends, is just sad.

I feel like I’m too old for this kind of shitty things but I guess shitty people don’t get old. They exist still. Everywhere. But it’s okay, the universe has its way. A balance. It’s called Karma.

 

 

 

 

#SG2016: Stop SingLishing Me, I Panic Lah.

2 Comments

So I just got back from my trip to Singapore and i’m having a little bit of separation anxiety (read: hangover) from my short-lived but nevertheless fun vacation.

My childhood friends and I have always wanted to travel together but since they all have gone to different countries for work there are only three of us left here in the Philippines, one is in California, one is in Dubai, while the other two are in Singapore. Due to life happening to all of us, Dale and Faith can’t just go and fly halfway across the world, Lorainne can’t just leave work and the kids and come with us so Pam and I decided to push through and visit Ejay and Byron in Singapore!

img_3641

Changi Airport

It was Pam’s first out of the country trip so she was a little bit praning in immigration while i’m a little bit praning about the Zika virus outbreak in Singapore so I brought a bottle of insect repellent and a box of mosquito patch good for four people.

 

Anyway, to say that their airport was beautiful would be an understatement, I mean, they have an MRT station inside the airport! Giving you easy access to anywhere in the city. How freaking cool is that?

We stayed at the J8 Hotel in the corner of Townshend Road and Maude Road, Lavender, Jalan Besar.

img_3807

J8 Hotel

For our first night, our friends took us to Chinatown for dinner. There were a lot of people, tourists mostly, enjoying different kinds of food available in that stretch of food stalls. Varied choices from stir-fried stuff, authentic Singaporean laksa, Satay, Indian Prata, and Ramen among other tasty stuff (i’m not really good with the food description, i figured! haha)

Day 2 – we had the whole day to ourselves. So while our friends went to work, we roamed around the city and the best thing we did was to buy that expensive local sim card! (Thanks to our sponsor/ ninong Ejay) Hahaha! It was 15SGD (Php 525) with 100gb (Whoa?!) of data and enough credits for call and text valid for the rest of our stay so it was worth it because you know what, we did get lost! It took us 30 minutes to find that freaking taxi stand and in one of our taxi rides the driver even dropped us off at the wrong place so thank goodness for their organized trains we we’re able to go to the River Safari, The Orchard Road, and the Ion Orchard Tower (which was closed unfortunately).

That night, after a hearty meal at Astons we went to the Gardens by the Bay to see the lights and sounds show which was A-MAH-ZING to say the least. We then went to the Marina Bay Sands for more must-have travel photos and that building just blows my mind. The architecture was genius. I can’t wrap my head around how they made that beautiful building. So after, we went to the bay front to go see that famous Merlion. The Grand Prix was in full swing so some of the roads were closed we had the walk all the way around and I tell you, it was faaaaaaar! I have never walked that much in my life! But, it was the best way to see and experience the city. Walk the streets with the locals and the other tourists. It was a new and exciting place with everything waiting to be seen and explored. It was so much painful for my feet but it was so good for my heart and soul. 🙂

The third day was meant for buying pasalubong so we went to Bugis Center. It was one of my favorite places. The boutiques in Orchard Road was too expensive for me so Bugis was right up our alley. We also went to Madame Tussaud’s and The Universal Studios later that day and it was like when we were kids and we would go on field trips together. It was also like all of us going to Star City but only with better rides, longer queues (with remarkable smell), and a whole lot of people we don’t understand.

 

With all the fun things we got to do, new places i got see, the precious time spent with people who are very dear to me, i’m finding it hard to go back to that “work mode” just yet. I am truly thankful for having life long friends who were so accommodating. I can’t thank you guys enough for making time for us and making us libre. You guys are the best!!!

This Singapore adventure made me realize how friendships really stand the test of time and even distance. I am amazed how we still don’t know some things about each other (Pam wants to sleep with a little bit of light on, who knew Ejay & Byron could be so patient and accommodating with us lost girls haha!) despite the fact that we’ve known each other almost all our lives. Coming from the same place and being together in a completely new and different one together and sharing this adventure was truly awesome. I wish we could all do it again together with the whole barkada.

img_3909

The trip was a good reminder of how there’s more to life, you know. There’s so much of the world we have to see and explore. I’m so excited to go out of the country and meet new people and experience different cultures. It was such a great trip and I’m stoked to travel more in the coming years!

 

 

Ces Reads: Sharp Objects

Leave a comment

Voila! My blog is alive!

For today’s post, there will be no quarter life crisis topics, real life workplace angst, or growing pains just a simple book review from a nerd like myself. Let’s begin!

Last year, I bought a copy of Gillian Flynn’s Sharp Objects. I have read her previous books (Gone Girl & Dark Places) and being a fan of crime and mystery stories I loved her disturbingly awesome plot twists.

Anyway, I just finished reading Sharp Objects and I just had to tell someone (or blog) about how great the book is. I give it 5 stars for its well written characters, its amazing plot, and how it kept me guessing until the very last page.

The book is about Camille Preaker. A damaged girl with deep, scarring issues who happens to be a reporter from Chicago’s 4th best newspaper. Desparate for readership, Curry – her editor-in-chief – asked her to cover a murder story of two little girls found dead, strangled, with all their teeth out in a small town in Missouri called Wind Gap where she happens to be from. Confronted by demons from her past and family issues, she goes back home to the memory of her dead sister, her cold mother Adora, a manipulative bratty half sister Amma, and a weird step father Alan. As she investigates, she meets this handsome detective – Richard Willis. They work together in tracing the town’s history of violence to find leads in the murder cases. But then, she uncovers dark truths that involve people close to her.

I don’t want to give away to much so I’m stopping right here.

It’s an interesting read that keeps you guessing. The book makes you think like you know who the killer is but really… you have no idea. It also tackles a topic that is common to teenagers these days – cutting. A nasty habit that needs to be stopped. It also deals with peer pressure and shows you a picture of how mean kids can be. It’s disturbing (I can’t find another word!) because you know that these kinds of things can really happen in real life. I have seen too many CSI episodes to have a good mental image while reading the book. Ultimately, it was a great read that it made me write this review (of sorts).

It’s interesting. Exciting. Basically, awesome. Go and read it.

CHOOSY

Leave a comment

DECISIONS.

We are faced with dozens of decisions from the mundane to the life changing ones every single day.

Where do we eat? Should I go out tonight? What clothes should I wear today? Should I stay? Should I go?

Often times, we find ourselves in situations where we feel like we have no choice making us dread the fact that we have to decide on something.

But then, we are never out of a choice. We always have a choice. It’s the result of that decision that we are truly afraid of. It’s the consequence that we’re scared of.

Seeing that making a decision is not something that we can avoid, I guess, in the end, you’ll have to decide and stand by that decision.

Because at the end of the day, not knowing and living with endless questions of “what-ifs” and “what-could-have-beens” is worse than the fear of making a choice. May it be good or bad, right or wrong. Either way, it’s the risk you have to take.

The Rants of a Wallflower

1 Comment

“We accept the love we think we deserve.” – The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I read this novel maybe 2 or 3 years ago before the movie adaptation was released. The book captured my attention because believe it or not I’ve always thought of myself as a wallflower. You know, someone who is always on the sidelines watching people do what they do or live their lives. In a way I was like Charlie because I wasn’t the “participating” type. I remember having this feeling of living the lives of my friends. It was like I was living vicariously through them.

Anyway, I have always liked the book and loved the movie version. As a matter of fact, I even cried watching the movie. I don’t know if it’s just Logan Lerman’s portrayal of Charlie but I don’t know it struck a chord. I’ve known the famous quote ever since I read the book but it’s only now that I feel like I actually know what it means.

Maybe it’s the recent sleepless nights I have been experiencing that has pushed me to introspection so please let me humor you for a little bit.

I’ve been feeling crappy about certain aspects of my personal life (surprise! surprise!). It’s the typical 20-something’s battle with non-existent relationships, friendships slowly drifting apart, uncontrollable family situations, and career related dilemmas. You know, the “usual”. So after the recent developments in my introspection, I have come to a realization that my life has been spent sticking around for people, things, and situations that aren’t exactly favorable to me. You might think I’m too old to be thinking about all these crap but then I’m a late bloomer so please bear with me.

I have been accepting the love I think I deserve that is why I’ve been content on being a (figurative) punching bag, sounding board, second choice, fall back person, back up plan, problem-fixer, pick-me-upper, just an all around kind of person for anybody who happens to need it.

Then one day, I realized that I just had to stop thinking about how to make other people feel comfortable or happy. I had to think about how to make myself comfortable and happy. I had to stop putting myself in situations that will bite my ass in the end just because I have this urge to be the diplomatic one or to be the bigger person. You know being selfish sometimes is not a bad thing. I’ve been thinking about other people for way too long – how are they doing? do they feel ok? are they happy? It’s time to ask myself those exact same questions. It’s now time to follow that advice I’ve been giving out to people: love your self.

We accept the love we think we deserve and I realized… I deserve better.

 

 

I’m F.I.N.E.

2 Comments

How are you? A friend asked me today and I said, I’m fine.

I’m F.I.N.E.

Ever saw Italian Job? FINE stands for Freaked out. Insecure. Neurotic. Emotional.

So I’m definitely FINE.

Freaked out about my job. The pressure to produce amazing, out of the box, and creative things has risen to a higher level given the recent updates on the ratings game. The trouble is, my career (if you could even call it that) is a series of hits and misses. And today is definitely a miss. Can’t seem to think of a creative 30-seconder plug and I call myself a legit writer. I’ve been wracking my brains for something anything that can pass the pitch tomorrow. I’m freaked out, frustrated, and probably effed up too.

Insecure. Am i the only one feeling like a fish out of water sometimes. Do these people know exactly what to do? Am i the only one worried about how lame I’d look as I suck at pitching the senseless crap I conjured in the past 3 hours?

Neurotic. Thinking about what the 30 pairs of eyes in the ginormous conference room are thinking while they watch me spout my non-sensical mumbo jumbos?

Emotional. Feeling shitty about what I’m doing really. It’s days like these that I become the person I hate. I sabotage myself by feeding it all the negative thoughts I could think of.

But I’m fine. Really. Once I get over my crappy self I’ll be fine. Good. Better even. Just having a bad day I guess.

Everything’s gonna work itself out right? It has to.

New Year’s Resolution

Leave a comment

Happy New Year! It is still the New Year, right? And as “tradition” dictates it is that time of the year where we promise to do stuff we probably wouldn’t do but what the heck? I’m jumping in that band wagon and I’m going to share my two cents with you.

While most people promise to exercise, lose weight, and other versions of “getting fit”, I on the other hand thought of doing something else. This year, my New Year’s resolution is to dress better. Since I can’t run that mile or do that many sit-ups to look good, I’ve figured dressing better would make me look good and feel good minus the sweat and the body pain.

I found this online shop called Rambros Prints. It’s an online shop for people looking for stylish and comfortable clothes.

RBprints

They customize and design shirts for people who want to have one-of-a-kind personalized shirts. For fan girls/boys, just like myself, what better way to eternalize your love for your favourite TV shows, bands, and other hobbies than to print their logos on your shirt and waltz around like it’s nobody’s business.

james

dem

For this hoodie-loving generation of kids and kids at heart, good news because apart from shirts they also customize and design amazing hoodies! I personally love hoodies due to its comfort and added coolness factor. Or maybe that’s just me?

hoodie 3

hoodie 2

hoodie 1 Anyway, Rambros Prints provide their clients with cool shirts and hoodies made from best quality materials at a reasonable price. You can even haggle and get good discounts. How cool is that? They do all types of design concepts ranging from couple shirts, company and organization uniforms, cartoon prints, religious designs, and of course my favourite – hoodies. Their products are great for personal use, corporate activities, other events, and even for gift options. You name it and they’ll have it customized for you and sent to your doorstep via LBC or personally delivered if you order in bulk. If you want to know more, check out their website: www.rambrosprints.com or call: 09176274300.

My New Year’s resolution seems to be promising, don’t you think? I think I’m ready to face the challenges this year and I plan on looking good while I’m at it. Here’s to dressing better, feeling better, and being better in 2014.

Older Entries